This is awkward. I recently had that medical procedure old guys have every five years or so (but generally don’t talk about in polite company). It’s an unpleasant event, especially the day before, but it’s a medically important procedure that helps old guys become older guys. So I did it, it was over, and the results were all good. I thought nothing more about it, until…
A couple days ago, I received a THANK YOU note… from my colonoscopy team.
Just let that sink in for a minute: A thank-you note from your colonoscopy team.
My first thought was, Wow. What the hell happened after “100, 99, 98, 97, 9…”? I’m not that much fun when I’m conscious.
Okay, obviously the hospital marketing people decided to thank patients for choosing their hospital. Health care is competitive these days, and hospitals don’t have great reputations. Being “the friendly hospital” that appreciates your business can help that hospital stand out. A tasteful, professionally printed THANK YOU card makes sense.
But then I opened it up. Several people had personally signed their names and their roles in the procedure: Maggie, admitting RN; Abby, Joyce and Joanna, procedure room; Alex, CRNA; Deb, recovery nurse. All these people were part of the procedure. These personal hand-written notes from my colonoscopy team seemed to cross the line between nice… and creepy. (After all, I know where those hands had been.)
Put yourself in my position. A team of medical professionals spend an hour or so standing over you, working their technologically intimate magic. And then they want to thank you?
It could have been creepier. Each team member could have written personal messages next to their names…
Nice seeing you last Monday. Hope to see you again soon.
Joyce, procedure room nurse
Thanks for the memories.
Deb, recovery room nurse
You have a nice smile. 😉
It was a pleasure doing business with you.
Alex (I don’t work here; I just heard a party, and stopped in)
I guess it’s a good marketing idea for hospitals to send THANK YOU notes to patients. But maybe they should lose the personal, hand-written notes, at least for this unique group of patients.
Bottom line: Colonoscopies are generally unpleasant. But they can also be fun. Mine apparently was.
Here’s looking at you, kid.